Transformers:Revenge of the Fallen review

Alright, this is going to be a hard review to do. Its hard to describe Transformers 2. First some numbers.

On the Decepticon side, there were about 30 robots, with only 5 named bots. On the Autobot side, there were 9 bots, 8 of whom were named (I count a team of 3 bikes as one, as they were just called "Team Arcee"). Of the bots from the previous movie, only Blackout, Megatron,Starscream and Scorponok showed up, while the new named bots were Soundwave and Devestator.

Ok, I give up. There is just too much stuff going on in this movie. We have dozens of un-named bots getting pulverized, some ethnic stereotyping and lots of purile sex comedy. Mr. Bay went as far as adding wrecking balls as testicles for Devestator and a sexpot humanoid decepticon. Its like all of these things were tossed into a blender, and then the resulting puree was a two and a half hour movie. Nearly half the movie was just dumb, with flash cuts to the most retarded things IN THE MIDDLE OF FIGHTS. When Bumblebee shows up first, we get a slow motion shot of a .....doghouse blowing up. Yes ,slow motion dogs.

I cant understand what made Mr. Bay do this. This is some of the worst editing Ive seen in his movies. When his filmography is compared to Transformers 2, you get an appreciation for his other movies like The Island and Bad Boys 2. Why? Those movies werent loaded with garbage that lengthened their run time. The story in this movie was nearly useless. It didnt provide any solid reasoning for anything happening. Bay tossed in stuff that totally makes everything else senseless.


There were humping dogs, humping bots, two ghetto cars with Uncle Tom faces. I half expected them to have giant pink lips. They did have massive overbites and a single gold tooth to make up for the lack of blackface.

This was a rather ridiculous movie, which was so ridiculous, it wasnt enjoyable. Some scenes you can see the CG actually malfunctioning. If you watch the Egypt scenes , you can see that the bots are rendered incorrectly due to their reaction lighting and shadows that completely break their presence in the scene. There were also very important plot points that were completely bungled. One character states that another source of Energon was discovered on Earth. 2 hours later, that new source is actually the Sun. Which isnt on the Earth. Other boondoggles include excruciating attention to the two Uncle Tom bots, at the expense of Ironhide, Ratchet and ,unbelievably, Optimus Prime.

After thinking things through, I think the reason Mr. Bay included the ghetto bots was to spite the people who said that Jazz was too stereotypical. So, to make those critics eat their words, he added TWO racist depictions of black people. This reinforces my feeling that Mr. Bay is an arrogant, self-aggrandizing two-tone director.
Ugh, only watch this movie if you like lowest common denominator movies, and laughing at the audience as they laugh at gay jokes.